Alaska or Bust

Do you ever have the feeling that something big is right around the corner. That you're being prepared for something. That God is orchestrating something good. I believe that it is not by just chance that I am leaving the Leadership Summit to go to one of the most beautiful places on earth for a week of rest and reflection.

I've come to a place in my walk with Christ that I really want to follow where God wants me and my family to go. I'm willing to take whatever risk that might be asked of me. Jan and I both feel like God is wanting us to take the next step, calling us to take a risk and follow him closely.

The thing I worry about is not that I will not be willing or not know how to do it, but just that I won't hear it, that I will completely miss it.

One of the sessions today at the summit that really impacted me was led by John Ortburg. He talked about living your true mission and how most people never get to because they are naturally led by their "shadow mission". The shadow mission, as he referred to it, is that person we would be apart from God. It is who we are by our very nature. It made me wonder who I would be left to my own desires. I didn't like who I saw. I saw an insecure person who was given over to lust with no drive or purpose, apathetic to the needs and the pain of the people around me. I know this is who I would be because I spend much of my time fighting against these things.

It made me realize two things: one, I am so grateful for the purpose, depth, self-control, and confidence I find only in God. I find strength in Christ to become more than I am capable of becoming on my own. And two, though I fight against those natural inclinations, I am always only a step or two away from living out my shadow mission. And that is a sobering thought. I could at any minute, let myself become once again, what I am naturally inclined to be.

Understanding my shadow mission, I believe, was the easy part. The difficult part that I will need to wrestle with is what my true mission is. After the session on playing out of your true strengths (not knowing what mine are) and then this session on living your true mission, I was convinced that I need to identify what it is that God really has for me.

I want God to use this week to speak (loudly) to Jan and I about the steps He is asking us to take in following him. I want to ask the right questions and listen closely to the answers. Give me the grace to hear and the resolution to follow.